Today we have a guest post from Rosa Lokaisingh.  I met Rosa a few years ago at a networking event and I gravitated to her – she was a breath of fresh air at this event.  I am always captivated by what she has to offer and give of herself.  She is sharing today about what the quality of the relationships you have, says a lot about who you really are.

Have you ever wondered what’s missing in your business relationships? Why are they so different from your relationships?

Why are others getting calls for speaking on stages, getting interviews on podcasts, getting invited for business colleagues’ Facebook live events, and you’re not?

We talk a lot about how your clients need to know, like and trust you before working with you, and yet we hesitate to get personal in our business relationships. We tend to say what the other wants to hear, and play nice so that they can like us. But how long will that last? Do they really like us, or is it just a ‘facebook’ like? Will they think of us when they have a problem to solve? You want that! You want people to think of you as resourceful, innovative and willing to help. Right? So, offer it up quickly. Don’t wait until the next time. Offer up something the first chance you get, so the other person is inclined to think of you a second time. That’s how it works, we get one opportunity to shine, and we can’t afford to blow it. So, that’s why they don’t think of you again. Seize the moment! Make a difference! Bring a smile on their face, or have them laugh out loud – that always works!

More importantly, it has to be genuine. If you are not sincere about helping others, it will show right through the veneer.

Whether it’s personal or professional? How intimate a conversation can you have with anyone in your circle?

Aren’t you tired of the superficial conversations that sound like this:

Caller A: Hey Name, how are you?

Caller B: I’m great thanks, Name, and you?

Caller A: How’s business these days?

Caller B: Oh, I’m doing great, can’t complain. I am so busy, getting my website redesigned, meeting some great people at networking events, and it’s happening for me. What about you? How’s it going?

Caller B: That’s wonderful! I’m speaking at an event later this month, for such and such, and I’m putting on my own event in 3 months.

….and on and on it goes, with no one really relating to the other.

So, that’s a basic conversation, but not anytime in that communication, did they get personal about the challenges they are experiencing, or asking for help, or offering to help. It seemed to lacklustre for me. What about you?

What if you replied with something like:

Caller B: I’ve met a lot of wonderful people lately, but am finding that it’s pretty challenging to actually connect with anyone afterwards. Have you experienced that?

Caller A: Oh yes, sure, I have. But what helped me is……..and provide a resource (Seminar, workshop, coach, or book) that can help the other person. Here’s what I’ve begun to do – I tend to pick 3 people from the list of contacts I met and focus on them, as I made some notes on what their needs are, and I’m staying connected, so I can gradually build the relationship, and see where it goes.

Caller B: Thanks so much for sharing that with me. That’s awesome! Please tell me – is there anything I can do for you to help move you forward?

Can you see how that conversation can grow the closeness between these two people, as they have served each other as opposed to just sharing their wins to impress the other person?

Let’s face it; no one cares about how much you or I won today, what they all care about is that you connect with them, by being heard, seen and helped, or giving them the opportunity to do the same. That’s one of the first criteria required to build communication and show that you care. Listen for what the other person needs and offer service. We are all servants to each other. If we remember that one thought throughout the day, it changes the level of conversations we have, deepens the communication, and shows the other that we care.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!

By Theodore Roosevelt

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